I am a Death Eater
by Amethest
Summary: (completed)The Dark Lord is reigning,his Death Eaters are spreading terror.Evan Rosier has dreams to be an Auror,but his father as very different plans and Evan will be forced down the path that will forever change who he is.


So, you giving this a chance? Thank you! I really hope you like this fic. It's quite dark but I have always wondered whether or not the Death Eaters grew up wanting to be Death Eaters. This is the story of Evan Rosier and about the path that he was forced to take, despite his own dreams.  
  
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I am a Death Eater.  
  
I had no choice.  
  
This is my story.  
  
§ § §  
  
Twenty-four years ago . . . .  
  
"Evan Michael Rosier, get down here this instant!"  
  
"Coming, mum!" eleven-year old Evan called down the stairs as he raced around the second floor, trying to clean up the mess that his experiment had made. "If only I knew some magic for this," Evan grumbled as he mopped up the green potion that was seeping through the floorboards, burning holes.  
  
"EVAN ROSIER!" he heard his mother scream.  
  
Evan sighed. "I am so dead," he muttered and scrambled up, running down the stairs.  
  
He flew into the kitchen, skidding to a stop and was not greeted with a very pleasant picture. The once spotless kitchen that his mother had been cleaning by hand because she felt that certain things should be done by hand was now anything but spotless. Dark holes dripping with green potion filled the ceiling and green potion covered the once pure white countertops and the dark oak oval table in the center. Where the potion had made contact, there were now burning holes.  
  
His mother, her dark hair piled on her head and a scowl across her face, stood in the middle, her apron filthy and a damp rag in her hand. "Look at this!" she yelled, motioning around the destroyed kitchen. "Well, what do you have to say?"  
  
"I - I'm sorry," Evan said weakly. "I won't do it again, I promise."  
  
"How right you are. When your father comes home and finds out, I don't think you're going to be making any more potions and playing Quidditch with your friends."  
  
"Mum, please!" Evan cried, his eyes wide. "Don't tell father! You know what he'll do!"  
  
His mother shook the wet rag at him. "It's the least you deserve after ruining my kitchen."  
  
"But you can fix it right up with a bit of magic!" Evan protested.  
  
"That's not the problem, Evan. The problem is that you have gone too far this time. I've put up with your accidents numerous times and this was the last straw!"  
  
"But, mum!"  
  
"Don't 'but mum' me! Now get up to your room and finish cleaning up your mess. And NO MAGIC! You can talk to your father when he comes home from the Ministry."  
  
"Mum - please!" Evan begged but his mother pointed to the stairs, her face burning with anger.  
  
"NOW!"  
  
Evan swallowed and trudged out of the kitchen, running up the stairs.  
  
§ § §  
  
When his father arrived home, he was not pleased and Evan was punished severely. However, it wasn't the usual punishment that one would normally receive from a parent. No, this was much worse. His father, who worked for the Ministry, was also a Death Eater, loyal to Lord Voldemort. Evan was bound to secrecy about this fact and he had been told numerous times throughout his life that he would one day become a Death Eater himself. Whether it was what he wanted, it didn't matter. He didn't have a choice.  
  
That evening, Evan lay in bed, still shaking and hurting all over from the after-effects of the Cruciatus Curse. His limbs were burning and his nerves felt like they were on fire, but he didn't whimper in pain, nor did he cry out. It was a sign of weakness, his father had told him, and he had also been told that if he ever did cry out, he would be punished even further, and that was something he did not think he could live through.  
  
His father's excuse for these punishments was that it toughened him up because when Evan entered the service of the Dark Lord, Voldemort would not be as easy on him. So his father was preparing him. But Evan knew that his father enjoyed torturing people; that was something he did for the Dark Lord, and Evan knew he wouldn't hesitate to refine his curses on his own son. It would just toughen him up, his father always said. Evan despised that. But, although he wanted to hate his father, cursing him countless times at the night sky, Evan knew that his father was a very powerful man and that he had gone through a tough childhood as well. His father just didn't want him to be weak, and he agreed with that aspect; he just didn't agree with the method.  
  
But he would never defy his father, and that was why he knew he would one day be a Death Eater. He really had no choice.  
  
§ § §  
  
The summer flew by and, after purchasing all his supplies from Diagon Alley and a few things from Knockturn Alley, Evan was on his way to Hogwarts.  
  
Sitting in a compartment by himself, he munched on Cauldron Cakes and Licorice Wands, looking out the window. His owl, Tindle, was sleeping in his cage by Evan's feet.  
  
"Oy, Evan! So, I see you've finally made it!" Evan turned his attention to the doorway of the compartment where Robert Nott, a second-year and the son of a Death Eater, stood. Robert was already dressed in his school robes, the Slytherin symbol standing out against the black. Robert pushed a lock of dark red hair from his eyes. "What're you doing in here by yourself?"  
  
Evan shrugged. "The closest empty one to the front."  
  
"Well, don't be a loner, Evan. Come sit with me, Nick, and Lucius." Nickolas Macnair and Lucius Malfoy were also sons of Death Eaters and friends of Evan's. Lucius was a third-year but Nick was a second-year like Robert.  
  
"Alright," Evan said, sighing and standing. Checking on Tindle, who was still sound asleep, Evan left the compartment and followed Robert towards the back of the train.  
  
As they passed a compartment near to them, Evan noticed a scraggly, dark- haired boy playing a game of Exploding Snap with a brown-haired boy and another boy with messy dark hair and glasses. "Ha!" the black-haired boy cried triumphantly. "You're done for, Moony!"  
  
"Shove it, Padfoot. I'll beat you yet," the brown-haired boy scowled as one of the cards exploded.  
  
Someone bumped into Evan and he saw that it was a very short boy with very thin arms and legs and a face that reminded him of a rat. "Sorry," the boy mumbled and entered the compartment.  
  
"Well, Wormtail, you took long enough," the messy haired boy said.  
  
"These robes are too big," the tiny boy complained, holding up the edges of his cloak that was trailing on the floor.  
  
"You'll get your school robes soon enough," the brown-haired boy said.  
  
"Prongs, move over," the black-haired boy said, motioning to the messy haired one, who shifted and the tiny boy sat down next to him.  
  
Evan turned his attention back to the corridor and saw that Robert was waiting patiently. "You know, if you moved any slower, I swear time would have stopped," Robert said, shaking his head and smiling.  
  
"Sorry," Evan said, glancing once more at the four boys and then joining Robert. "Who were those students back there?"  
  
"Black, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew," Robert said, sneering slightly. "Those four are never apart."  
  
Evan nodded, looking back towards the compartment. "Sure seems like that."  
  
"Well, enough on Gryffindor; let's talk about something more pleasant, shall we?"  
  
"Of course," Evan said and followed Robert into the compartment where Lucius and Nick sat across from each other.  
  
". . . but you have to admit, Lucius, she was very pretty, even for a Mudblood," Nick was saying.  
  
"What're you two talking about?" Robert asked, sitting down next to Nick. Evan took the seat next to Lucius.  
  
"Oh, about some first-year Mudblood," Lucius said, rolling his eyes. He sneered slightly, his gray eyes looking at Nick coolly. "You would think that a pure-blood would have more sense than to fantasize about a Mudblood."  
  
"Lucius, you're so boring. You really should get out more often," Nick said, sitting back and shaking his head.  
  
"Who is she?" Robert asked.  
  
Lucius just scowled and didn't answer. "I think her name is Lilian Evans," Nick said. He shrugged. "She's very pretty, but Lucius won't give her a second look because she's a Mudblood."  
  
"You shouldn't either," Robert said, giving Nick a pointed look.  
  
Nick shrugged. "Well, it wasn't like I was ever going to speak to her. I was just commenting that she was pretty. Is that such a crime?"  
  
"It is if it's a Mudblood you're talking about," Lucius said, scowling.  
  
"Oh, come off it, Lucius. Lighten up," Robert said.  
  
"Well, at least you won't have to worry about her being in Slytherin," Evan pointed out.  
  
Lucius sneered. "Thankfully. I wouldn't want her tainting our house anyway."  
  
Nick just rolled his eyes and turned to Evan. "So, you ready for your first year?"  
  
Evan nodded, grinning. "I can't wait. The Sorting Ceremony is going to be brilliant. I wonder what house I'll be Sorted into?"  
  
"Slytherin, obviously," Lucius smirked.  
  
"Well, yes, that would be the assumption," Nick said.  
  
"But what if I don't want Slytherin?" Evan asked, looking at them.  
  
Their eyes went wide. "Don't want Slytherin?!" Lucius exclaimed. "Are you mad?"  
  
"Why wouldn't you want Slytherin?" Robert asked.  
  
Evan shrugged. "I just thought that I might be placed in another house. I mean, my mum was a Ravenclaw."  
  
"Your father was in Slytherin," Nick said. "Therefore, you will be in Slytherin."  
  
"But what if I want Ravenclaw?"  
  
"Ravenclaw?" Lucius scoffed. "Why would you want that house?"  
  
"It's not that bad. Ravenclaws are very intelligent."  
  
"That rules you out," Robert said, smiling.  
  
Evan glared at him and then rolled his eyes. "Well, I won't know until the ceremony."  
  
"You'll get Slytherin," Nick said. "It's in your blood."  
  
Evan shrugged. "We'll see."  
  
"Ravenclaw," Lucius muttered, shaking his head.  
  
§ § §  
  
The rest of the train ride went smoothly, although when Evan was coming out of the changing room, he accidentally bumped into Sirius, who scowled at him and walked away, muttering, "Slytherin."  
  
Evan just sighed, thinking, Why do they always assume I'm a Slytherin?! and headed back to his compartment.  
  
While they were crossing the lake to Hogwarts, Evan saw Sirius shove a boy out of one of the boats. Evan sneered and shook his head. "What's his problem?" he had muttered. When they had reached the dock, Evan saw the boy who had been pushed in standing next to Hagrid, shivering beneath a large blanket. The boy had greasy looking hair and a hooked nose; over all he didn't look very pleasant.  
  
However, as Evan was walking through the Great Hall up to the Sorting hat, the greasy haired boy fell into step next to him. "Are you okay?" Evan asked, deciding to be pleasant. After all, he had enough enemies because of his father; he didn't need more.  
  
The greasy haired boy just sneered, glaring at Sirius, who was sitting at the Gryffindor table. "Who, that idiot? I'll just curse him."  
  
Evan's eyes went wide. "You can't curse him! You be expelled for sure!"  
  
The greasy haired boy looked at Evan, scowling. Already, Evan didn't like this boy. "What are you, some sort of goody-goody?" He sneered again. "You'll probably be in Hufflepuff. At least I won't have to put up with you. I'll be in Slytherin."  
  
Evan felt a surge of anger through his chest. "For your information, I will not be in Hufflepuff."  
  
"Oh, really?" the boy said, quirking an eyebrow and smirking. "What makes you so sure?"  
  
"What makes you so sure of your house?" Evan retorted.  
  
"My entire bloodline has been in Slytherin," the boy said smugly.  
  
"So has mine," Evan shot back.  
  
The boy looked slightly startled but recovered quickly, sneering once more. Evan really didn't like this kid. However, the boy didn't have a chance to retort back as Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and they turned their attention to the front.  
  
Next to Professor McGonagall sat the Sorting hat on a stool. Evan, who was a rather tall first-year, looked over the heads of the others, watching the professor intently. When the Sorting hat finished its song, she held out a long scroll and said, "When I call out your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool. When the hat announces your House, you will go and sit at the appropriate table.  
  
"Adams, Gregory!"  
  
As the boy was pronounced a Hufflepuff, Evan moved as far away as he could from the greasy haired boy. He wasn't too sure he wanted Slytherin if that boy was going to be in it.  
  
He didn't really pay attention very much to the majority of the Sorting, for he was too interested in looking around and thinking about what house he might be placed in.  
  
However, he did pay attention when he heard the name  
  
"Evans, Lilian!"  
  
He watched as a tall red-headed girl strode up to the stool, sitting down. She looked very pleasant and intelligent and wasn't surprised when the hat shouted  
  
"RAVENCLAW!"  
  
She hopped off the stool and joined her house, Evan watching her the entire time. He smiled. Maybe I want to be in Ravenclaw.  
  
The Sorting continued and when  
  
"Pettigrew, Peter!"  
  
was called, Evan perked up, since he knew he would be called up soon. He saw the tiny kid he had seen on the train walk up to the Sorting hat, Professor McGonagall placing it on his head.  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
"Rosier, Evan!"  
  
Evan swallowed and made his way through the crowd of first-years that were left. He sat down on the stool, searching the Slytherin table for his friends. He made eye contact and Nick gave him a thumbs-up. Evan smiled nervously and felt the hat drop over his head.  
  
"Ah, another Rosier. Hmmmmm," the hat said. "Well, you've got quite a reputation to withhold, young Rosier. You are intelligent, but no, Ravenclaw won't do. Hufflepuff is definitely out of the question; too strong-willed for that. You have some power, yes . . . and bravery, but I sense that you are tentative in following your father. You have not made up your mind, yet, but which house to put you in? You have the ability to be great, but you'll need true friends to help you along. I see . . . well, aha! I know. . .  
  
"SLYTHERIN!"  
  
Evan smiled as the Slytherin table erupted into loud cheers and applause and he made his way over to his friends, taking the seat between Lucius and Robert. Nick sat across from him.  
  
"See, told you you'd be a Slytherin," Nick said, smiling.  
  
Evan shrugged. "Good job." He grinned. "We're going to have a blast."  
  
"Snape, Severus!"  
  
Evan turned his attention back to the Sorting and watched as the greasy haired boy walked up to the stool. Severus, huh? Please, don't let him be in Slytherin!  
  
"SLYTHERIN!"  
  
Evan groaned and dropped his head onto the table. "Evan?" Robert said. "You okay?"  
  
"Why me?!" Evan moaned, thumping his head on the table.  
  
"What's the matter?" Nick asked.  
  
"That is the matter!" Evan grumbled, pointing to Severus, who was gliding over to the Slytherin table.  
  
Lucius smirked. "Oh, yes, Severus Snape, my father told me all about him. Supposedly he knows more hexes and curses that anyone here."  
  
"Really?" Nick asked, his eyebrows raised.  
  
Lucius shrugged. "Just what I heard." Severus sat down on the other side of Lucius at that moment. "You're not wanted here. Go sit somewhere else," Lucius sneered.  
  
Severus glared at him. "I'll sit wherever I want to."  
  
Lucius scowled, glaring at him darkly. "You don't want to mess with me."  
  
"You don't scare me, Malfoy," Severus spat and turned his attention to a first-year on the other side of him.  
  
Lucius bristled with anger, his gray eyes flaming. He ran his hand through his short, white-blond hair. "He's going to get it one of these days," Lucius growled.  
  
"Easy there, Lucifer," Nick said, holding up a hand.  
  
Lucius glared at him. "My name is Lucius, not Lucifer."  
  
"Well, you look like Lucifer at the moment; settle down!"  
  
"He's not going to get away with insulting me!"  
  
"He'll get his due, Lucius, just calm down right now," Evan said. "Besides, look at all the food!" Indeed, their feast had appeared and soon they were digging in, eating rapidly. Lucius, however, kept glaring at Severus, only eating a bit of his dinner.  
  
§ § §  
  
Over the next few months, Evan immersed himself in his studying and he did well at school. Many evenings, his friends could be found sitting in a dark corner, discussing their futures as Death Eaters; Evan, however, didn't join them. He still wasn't sure that was what he wanted to do. But, of course, did he really have a choice?  
  
Severus and Lucius got in several fights over the first semester, both of them ending up in the hospital wing on several occasions. No one really liked Severus; but it was no wonder, since he treated them all like scum.  
  
At one point, Evan was walking down the corridor the week before the winter holiday, and since he was late for class, he was running.  
  
"Evan, wait!"  
  
Evan turned his head, but didn't stop running. He saw Nick sprinting after him, finally catching up. "Let's go!"  
  
"I . . . don't . . . believe . . . this!" Nick huffed as they ran. "I swear that we're just unlucky when it comes to getting to class on time!"  
  
"Tell me about it," Evan said as they skidded around a corner and jumped several stairs, sprinting through a large archway and across the snow- covered courtyard. "Why is it always us?"  
  
They ran back under the roof and slided around a corner, Evan ramming into someone coming from the other direction.  
  
"Hey, watch it!" the person yelled. Evan looked up to see the face of Sirius Black scowling down at him. Oh, great. Wonderful. Brilliant! Why me?!  
  
"Sorry," Evan mumbled, trying to get past Sirius, but Sirius grabbed his arm.  
  
"You're a first-year, aren't you?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Leave him alone!" Nick protested.  
  
Sirius ignored him and glared at Evan, who was nearly as tall as he was, but thinner. Sirius' eyes traveled down to the Slytherin patch on Evan's robes and sneered. "Slytherin, figures," Sirius muttered.  
  
Evan wrenched his arm away from Sirius. "What's your problem with Slytherins? Just because you're a Gryffindor, doesn't mean you can walk all over us!"  
  
Sirius sneered, looking at Evan with pure disgust. "I would never want to walk on you, Slytherin. You'd taint my boots with your Dark blood."  
  
Evan whipped out his wand, pointing it in Sirius' face. "Watch it, Black."  
  
Sirius, however, just looked back at him smugly. "You know if you use magic you'll be expelled."  
  
Evan sneered, putting his wand away. "I wouldn't want to get in trouble over a Gryffindor. It'd be a waste of my time."  
  
"I would flatten you in an instant if we dueled, Rosier," Sirius said, smirking. "You'd be no match for me."  
  
"Is that a challenge?" Evan demanded.  
  
"If you make it to be one." Sirius didn't say anything for a moment. Then he shook his head, glaring at Evan. "I don't want to waste my time with you. You're not worth it." Sirius shoved past Evan, walking down the corridor.  
  
"Just you wait, Black!" Evan yelled. "You won't be so smug when He comes knocking at your door!"  
  
"Is that a threat, Rosier?" Sirius asked, turning to face Evan, his face darkening.  
  
Evan narrowed his gaze. "You heard me. You'll pay for ever insulting me."  
  
Sirius glared at him and stalked away.  
  
"Come on!" Nick said, grabbing Evan's arm and pulling him down the corridor. "Now we're really going to be late!"  
  
§ § §  
  
Thankfully, Christmas came quickly and, although Evan wasn't too sure about what would happen at home, he was glad to go back. His parents were proud that he had been Sorted into Slytherin and his father actually praised him. Of course, he also said that Evan was following in his footsteps quite nicely and that he would make a fine Death Eater one day. Although Evan didn't say anything aloud, he still didn't know if he really wanted to be a Death Eater. Of course, if he was a Death Eater, he'd be able to swipe that smug look off of Black's face and make him pay for every insulting him. Evan wasn't extremely powerful, but he was decent. Lucius was amazing when it came to dueling and, as grudgingly as Evan would like to admit, Severus wasn't too bad himself. They had a Dueling Club and while Evan wasn't in it, he did watch the matches and had seen Lucius and Severus both duel. However, Black and Potter were amazingly powerful and although he hated to admit it, Evan knew that they had to be the top wizards of the school.  
  
Once they were back at Hogwarts, Quidditch season was on a roll. Both Lucius and Robert played on the House team; both were Chasers. Evan planned to try out the following year. Of course, Black and Potter were on the Gryffindor team and there was many a match where numerous penalties were called because of the severity of the competition between the two houses.  
  
As finals drew closer, Evan tried to avoid running into Sirius and stayed in the library or the common room, studying hard. Nick and Robert studied with him most of the time. Lucius always said that he didn't need to study because he was a Malfoy and Malfoy's didn't study. Evan thought that was pure rubbish, since Lucius had barely passed the finals the past semester.  
  
Of course, a duel nearly broke out one evening between Lucius and Severus when Lucius was working on his Transfiguration homework and Severus 'accidentally' knocked over the bottle of ink, covering Lucius' parchment. The only reason they didn't end up actually dueling was because the Head of Slytherin House, Professor Traman, came in at that moment.  
  
Evan passed his finals with over a hundred percent in each; however, Potter and Lupin were the top students. Needless to say, his father wasn't pleased that he wasn't top of the school, and he was punished with the Cruciatus Curse.  
  
The summer was hell, for his father seemed to find every tiny flaw, even the miniscule ones, and nothing Evan ever did seemed to be right. The only thing that got him through his summer were his friends and the Quidditch matches that they would play.  
  
Evan's second year at Hogwarts began finally, not soon enough in Evan's opinion, and he immediately tried out for Quidditch. Much to his pleasure, he managed to get the position of Seeker. Unfortunately, Potter was the Seeker for Gryffindor.  
  
Evan finally did get his chance to duel Sirius when he joined the Dueling Club and they had their first practice. Evan planned to pay Sirius back for what he had said that day in the corridor.  
  
"Okay, now just some basic spells, nothing too complicated," Professor Ralesten, their Charms professor, said.  
  
Evan faced off against Sirius. "Now we'll see who the better wizard is," Evan said, sneering at Sirius, who sneered back.  
  
"You're no match for me, Rosier," Sirius scowled.  
  
"We'll see about that."  
  
"Wands at the ready! Begin!"  
  
"Rictusempra!" Evan yelled, but Sirius dodge the curse.  
  
"Furnunculus!"  
  
"Tarantellgra!"  
  
"Locomotor Mortis!"  
  
"Invertespatium!"  
  
"Impedimentia!"  
  
Evan barely blocked the curse and quickly ran through the spells he had just learned. Lucius and Nick had been helping him prepare and he had used many other books besides the ones that they had been given for school. Some that they weren't allowed to have; Evan, however, didn't care when it came to dueling Sirius.  
  
"Consumptius Viscera!" Evan yelled and Sirius didn't move out of the way in time; the curse hit him directly in the stomach and he doubled over, retching.  
  
Evan stood back, smirking. That's what you get for insulting me, Evan thought triumphantly. You're not so tough after all.  
  
"Hey, that was Dark Magic! You can't use that!" Potter yelled.  
  
Evan glared at Potter. "That was never stated. Besides, how do you know if it was Dark Magic? It could just be an advanced spell that you haven't learned yet."  
  
"There's no decent spells that would do that!" Potter yelled, pointing at Sirius who was on his knees, still retching.  
  
"Remove it!" Lupin shouted.  
  
Professor Ralesten, who had been busy with another pair, walked over, and stared down at Sirius. "Finite Incantatum!" she said and Sirius collapsed onto the ground, gasping for air. Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew immediately rushed to Sirius' side.  
  
Professor Ralesten turned to Evan. "What did you do to him, Rosier?" she demanded.  
  
Evan shrugged. "It was just an advanced spell I learned."  
  
"It was Dark Magic!" Potter yelled.  
  
Professor Ralesten held up a hand, quieting Potter. She looked sharply at Rosier. "Is that true, Rosier? Did you use Dark Magic?"  
  
"It was just an advanced spell," Rosier repeated. "Besides, how exactly would I be able to get my hands on a book on Dark Magic? They're in the Restricted Section and last time I checked, we're not allowed in there."  
  
Professor Ralesten narrowed her gaze, not saying anything for a bit. Finally, she sighed. "Well, I can't prove it. But it better not happen again, understand?"  
  
Evan nodded and she walked over to Sirius, checking on him.  
  
As Evan walked past Sirius, Potter glared at him and Sirius looked up long enough to give Evan a venomous look. Evan looked back at Sirius smugly and walked over to where Lucius, Nick, and Robert were waiting.  
  
"That was brilliant, Evan!" Nick exclaimed. "You really showed that Gryffindor!"  
  
"Yes, I did, didn't I?" Evan said, smirking.  
  
§ § §  
  
Although Sirius and his friends avoided Evan and the rest of the Slytherins, Sirius didn't hesitate to shoot daggers at Evan if they happened to pass in the corridor, at meals, and during classes. Evan just ignored him. He knew that Sirius would get what was due to him, all in good time.  
  
Evan spent Christmas at Hogwarts with Nick and, unfortunately, Sirius and Potter. Recently, Evan had noticed that the Evans girl had been spending a lot of time with Sirius and his friends. Although Evan did want to talk to her, he wasn't going to go near the Gryffindors.  
  
However, his hopes were smashed when she walked up to him during dinner one evening and said, "You know, that wasn't really very nice what you did to Sirius, Evan. I would have though you'd be more decent than that. I suppose I can't expect that much from a Slytherin." With that, she walked away, leaving Evan even more vengeful against Sirius for ruining any chance he had had with Lily.  
  
The last half of his year didn't go by quickly enough for Evan. Between his studying, learning more spells, avoiding Sirius and his evil passé, Quidditch practice, Dueling Club, and hanging out with his friends, he hardly had a minute to himself.  
  
As the year drew to an end, Evan still hadn't decided what he wanted to do and he knew what his father wanted, but was it really what he wanted? He had been asking himself this question for two years now and he still wasn't any closer to the answer.  
  
The summer was filled with Quidditch and his father's lessons. Since his father was determined to make a Death Eater out of his son, he forced Evan to learn Dark Magic and learn the Unforgivables. He said that his initiation during his seventh year would be tough and Evan had to be prepared.  
  
Coming into his third year, Evan quickly rose to the top of his class in Charms, Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. His father was very pleased and, for once, Evan wasn't punished. Scoring the top grades in the fall term, he was awarded a plague and his father actually said that he was proud of Evan. Lucius and Severus were still going at each other's throats, of course. And then, there was Sirius and his evil passé. Evan had noticed that for some odd reason, once a month Sirius and his passé would disappear for the entire day. He didn't pay it much heed, but it still was odd.  
  
He finally received permission from his father to go to Hogsmeade and they had a blast. Nick, Lucius, and Evan managed to bewitch a canary cream so it actually turned the eater into a bird. Then they fed it to Severus. They were laughing so hard that they could hardly breathe and ran out of the shop before a professor found them with a canary-Severus. Of course, Severus was even more vengeful after that incident and didn't hesitate to curse them throughout the year. Evan was walking to class one day and Severus cast a curse on him that made Evan speak pure rubbish every time he opened his mouth. After Nick reversed the spell, Evan found out that Severus had cast the Randementia spell. Evan had wanted to kill Severus at the time, but Nick persuaded him to wait until he was a Death Eater.  
  
Of course, that didn't stop Evan from cursing him one day when Severus confronted him in the courtyard. As Evan was walking to class, his bag suddenly split apart and his books tumbled onto the ground. Thankfully, the snow had melted and it was just grass. Evan was picking up his books, cursing under his breath, when he heard someone laughing hysterically nearby. He lifted his head and saw Severus, his normally pale face bright red with laughter.  
  
"Nice one, Rosier!" Severus managed.  
  
Evan stood, whipping out his wand, glaring at Severus. "You're the one who did it," Evan said.  
  
Severus stopped laughing and looked at Evan smugly. "What're you going to do, Rosier? Try to give me some boils?"  
  
"I wouldn't go that easy on you, Snape," Evan hissed, his eyes narrowing dangerously.  
  
Severus just crossed his arms, staring at Evan. "What are you going to do about it?"  
  
"This." Evan smirked. "Hakirvis machav!" he shouted and a brilliant flash of green light flashed from the tip of his wand, hitting Severus in the chest and knocking him onto the ground.  
  
Severus tried to speak but instead, a nice fat slug came out of his mouth. The students that were passing by stopped and stared, laughing.  
  
Severus was now moaning, but he couldn't stop retching slugs. Evan stood over him, putting his wand away. "That's what you get when you mess with me," Evan said, sneering. He picked up his books and walked away, very pleased with himself.  
  
At that moment, he realized a sort of power that he had when he could make someone retch slugs or do something worse. He also remembered the satisfying feeling it had given him when he had seen Sirius doubled over during the duel. In a way, it almost felt good to be able to have that control over other people. Immediately, he shook the thought from his head. That was his father's words. Those weren't his. He was not going to be a Death Eater! There was nothing that could force him to do that!  
  
§ § §  
  
"Okay, so have you all received Apprenticeships?" Lucius asked the other inhabitants of the compartment on the train to Hogwarts. Two out of the three nodded. The fourth just kept looking out the window. "Rosier?"  
  
Evan turned his attention back to Lucius. "What?"  
  
"Nott, Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, Lestrange, Dolohov, Karkaroff, Travers, Mulciber, Rookwood, and Macnair have all received Apprenticeships. Have you?"  
  
Evan shrugged and turned back to the window.  
  
"Evan!" Nick hissed, nudging Evan in the ribs.  
  
"What?" Evan asked, exasperated.  
  
"Answer him!"  
  
Evan looked at Lucius. "No, I haven't."  
  
Lucius quirked an eyebrow. "Really? You know it's already our fourth year. You have to have at least two years under Apprenticeship to rise to full status."  
  
"I don't care," Evan replied and looked back at the window.  
  
"Evan, we have eleven so far, twelve including myself. All the sons of the Death Eaters are supposed to be in Apprenticeship by now."  
  
"What if I don't want to?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Evan, you can't mean that!" Robert exclaimed.  
  
"Why not?" Evan asked, looking at Robert, who was sitting next to Lucius. "Why do I have to be a Death Eater? What if I choose not to follow in my father's footsteps?"  
  
"Then you're a fool!" Lucius hissed, his gray eyes cold.  
  
"Evan, you're not thinking clearly," Nick said.  
  
"Yes, I am," Evan said evenly, looking Nick in the eyes. "I . . . do . . . not . . . want . . . to . . . be . . . a . . . Death . . . Eater."  
  
"Evan, don't do this!" Robert warned.  
  
Evan just shook his head, looking back out the window. "Give him time," he heard Nick whisper.  
  
"He has one year," Lucius said finally, and they began discussing further Death Eater topics.  
  
Why do they assume I'm going to be just like my father? Evan thought, watching as the woods flew by. I have better things to do than to be a Death Eater. I could be an Auror . . . but . . . I don't know. There's that little voice telling me that I'll have power if I'm a Death Eater, but is that what I really want?  
  
§ § §  
  
Over the course of his fourth year, Evan was nagged constantly by Lucius and his friends about receiving an Apprenticeship. They would meet in the common room, in their corner, to discuss such things. However, one evening, while Evan was sitting with his friends while they discussed their Apprenticeships, he noticed that Severus seemed to be watching them very closely. Evan leaned over to Lucius.  
  
"You had better watch out for him," Evan whispered, nodding his head towards Severus. Lucius' eyes went to where Severus was sitting, seemingly absorbed in a book, but Evan knew better. "He's been watching us for months. I think he suspects something."  
  
"You don't think he'd sell us out, do you?" Nick whispered.  
  
"If he tries, he won't live to say anything," Lucius threatened, his gaze narrowing.  
  
Evan swallowed. "But what could you do?"  
  
"Use Avada Kedavra on him," Lucius said simply.  
  
Evan's eyes went wide. "But Lucius, that's one of the Unforgivables."  
  
"Yes, I know that," Lucius said, rolling his eyes. "As Death Eaters, we'll have to know all our curses very well, especially the Dark Magic. That's why you need an Apprenticeship. It's where you'll learn all that." Lucius eyed him. "Are you getting soft, Rosier?"  
  
"No, of course not!" Evan said defensively.  
  
As his friends began discussing again, Evan looked down at the ground, thinking. He had been going to these meetings for years, and though no one had found out about them, Severus was beginning to get too close for comfort. The only good thing about this year was that Sirius and Lupin were gone. Of course, Evan still had to put up with Potter for another year and have to swallow his anger every time he saw Potter and Lily together. It was a known fact that they were an item and with Potter being Captain of the Gryffindor team, everyone loved them. Everyone except the Slytherins. Lucius had made Captain this year and he was bound determined to win. Evan knew that Quidditch practice was going to be very tough, and he knew that with his studying, he was going to be very busy. The next year would be spent studying for the O.W.L.S.  
  
"Evan? Did you hear me?"  
  
"W-What?" Evan said, blinking and looking at Lucius, who was staring at them.  
  
"I asked you if you were going to come with us to the meeting next week over the spring holiday."  
  
"Yeah, sure," Evan said quickly, knowing that was what Lucius wanted to hear. This seemed to satisfy Lucius since he turned back to his discussions.  
  
Meeting? Brilliant, Evan thought sarcastically. My father is going to be there and I'm going to be the only non-Apprentice. What do I do? Maybe I can get an Apprenticeship to please my father . . . but then just never follow through and get the Mark. Then . . . oh, bloody hell, I don't know. He's going to expect me to be there, so it's not like I can just not show up. Well, that's what I'm going to have to do. I'll be fine. I'll just do the Apprenticeship and then just not get the Mark. Yes, that's what I'll do. I don't think my father would hesitate to kill me if I didn't have an Apprenticeship. But who to be an Apprentice to? Hm . . . . well, there's always Nick's father. I suppose that's what I'm going to have to do.  
  
"Nick," Evan whispered, grabbing Nick's arm.  
  
"What?" Nick said, looking at Evan.  
  
"I need to speak with your father before the meeting."  
  
Nick nodded. "Right. He's picking me up from King's Cross, so why don't you talk to him then?"  
  
"That's good," Evan said, nodding. "My father was going to ask your father to take me home anyway, since he has to prepare for the meeting."  
  
Nick smiled. "Then it's settled."  
  
"Right."  
  
Nick turned away and Evan bit his lip, looking up at the arched ceiling. I hope I know what I'm getting myself into!  
  
§ § §  
  
Evan stood next to Mr. Macnair, his pitch-black robe rustling in the slight breeze. The adults all wore their masks; Evan shuddered every time he saw one of the masks. They drove a spike of fear straight through his chest. Of course, that didn't even compare to Voldemort. Every time Evan set eyes upon the snake-like face, he shuddered inwardly, terrified to the core.  
  
Mr. Macnair had accepted him as his Apprentice and at the moment, they Senior Death Eaters in Voldemort's Inner Circle were calling out their Apprentices and Voldemort inspected each Apprentice that stood before him.  
  
"Macnair!" Voldemort said sharply.  
  
"Yes, my Lord," Macnair said quickly. "The Apprentices that I have accepted to train are my son, Nikolas, and Evan Rosier."  
  
"Bring them forth."  
  
"Yes, my Lord." Macnair placed one of his hands on the small of Evan's back and pushed him forward. He and Nikolas stood before the Dark Lord, trying to conceal the fear that threatened to overwhelm them.  
  
"Are you frightened?" Voldemort hissed, his red eyes gleaming and seeming to cut through to their very cores.  
  
Evan knew he had to answer honestly, for the Dark Lord would know. "Yes, my Lord," Evan replied.  
  
"Yes, my Lord," Nikolas echoed.  
  
Voldemort sneered, making his horrible face even more terrifying, if that was even possible. "Good. Very good."  
  
"And why do you seek Apprenticeship?"  
  
"To further your goals, my Lord," Evan replied. Mr. Macnair had drilled the answers into Evan before the meeting, so that he would not mess up.  
  
"And what are my goals, Rosier?"  
  
"To cleanse the wizarding world of all the dirty blood."  
  
Voldemort gave a slight nod and Macnair grabbed Evan, pulling him back. Evan watched from a distance as Nikolas was interrogated. Evan let out a small breath of relief, but he wasn't foolish enough to think that this was it.  
  
As the last Apprentice was accepted, the Senior Death Eaters stepped away, leaving the Apprentices by themselves in front of Voldemort. And then the most excruciating pain overwhelmed Evan as the Cruciatus Curse was preformed on all the Apprentices. White sharp needles of pain scorched his entire body, making it feel as though a thousand knives were being thrust into him. He bit back his scream, as his father had ordered him to do so many times. Evan, at this moment in time, was glad that his father had prepared him for this, because if he had not been subject to the Cruciatus Curse before, he didn't know if he could have survived it this time.  
  
Finally, mercifully, the agony ended and Evan lay on the ground, breathing hard. GET UP! His inner voice cried. Evan swallowed, wiping the bit of drool that had come out of his mouth. His muscles trembling and his entire body feeling as though it was on fire, he gradually stood, facing Voldemort. The other Apprentices were moaning and Nick was the only other one to stand alongside Evan.  
  
Voldemort looked at the two young Apprentices and nodded in approval. "You two have done well."  
  
"Thank you, my Lord. You are very kind," they said, bowing their heads. Only a little more, Evan thought. Just play along for a bit more.  
  
One by one, the other Apprentices finally managed to rise. Voldemort hissed in disapproval but said, "You have all passed the first test towards becoming a full Death Eater." He turned his cold gaze on the Apprentices that had failed to stand up immediately. "For those of you, you know who you are, that were miserable fools, I expect much better the next time."  
  
"Yes, my Lord," came the chorus of replies.  
  
"In two and a half years, I expect you all back here and ready for your initiation. Not all of you will pass and the sniveling fools that don't will be killed."  
  
At that moment, Macnair took a hold of Evan and Nick and they Disapparated.  
  
§ § §  
  
As the years flew by and his initiation drew closer, Evan began to realize that he wasn't going to be able to get out of this. He was going to have to become a Death Eater, whether he liked it or not, for his father had forced him down that path and now he had no choice. He was stuck and for a moment, he almost wished he were in Gryffindor and not the son of a Death Eater, but he quickly banished that thought from his mind and instead focusing on heightening his powers so that he would be very powerful.  
  
During his sixth-year, Evan learned that Severus had been approved for Apprenticeship and was now preparing for the very same initiation that Evan was. Although Evan did not look forward to dealing with Severus, in a way he was glad that Severus became an Apprentice, because if he had not, then he would have surely ratted on them and they would have been put in Azkaban for sure, even if they were only sixteen years old.  
  
Evan stood in his manor, fixing his black robes once again and wringing his hands nervously. He had turned eighteen the previous weekend just after Christmas and tonight was his initiation and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to live through it. His father was confident that he would not fail, but Evan wasn't too sure. He hadn't even wanted to go down this path; he had wanted to become an Auror, but that was long gone and now he was who he would become for the rest of his life: a Death Eater.  
  
"Evan!" his father called.  
  
"Coming!" Evan rushed down the stairs, halting in front of his father. His mother was busy elsewhere that night, so he and his father were alone in the huge manor.  
  
"Death Eaters do not run."  
  
"Yes, father," Evan said obediently.  
  
"Let's go." Evan followed his father out the door and across a field and into a patch of woods.  
  
As they walked further, a drizzle began to fall. "Just my luck," Evan grumbled.  
  
"Death Eaters do not whine," his father said coldly.  
  
"Yes, father." You're the one that is forcing me to do this! I never wanted to become a Death Eater, but here I am . . . trudging through a bloody forest in pitch-black darkness, and going to only God knows where. "Why do we have to walk so far?"  
  
"Death Eaters do not ask questions."  
  
"Yes, father." I'm never going to be able to get through to him.  
  
A few moments passed. "Father -"  
  
"Shut up," his father said sharply.  
  
"Shutting up."  
  
After what seemed like hours, they finally appeared at the edge of a large clearing, the torches flickering in the rain. His father pulled down the gleaming white mask and took his place in the Inner Circle. Evan swallowed hard and took his place among the rest of the Apprentices. Parkinson looked ready to wet himself and Travers was nearly in hysterics.  
  
Evan rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, facing forward, his face betraying no emotion. I have been forced down this path, but since I have come this far, I will not fail. I will finish it and do my duty.  
  
One by one, each Apprentice was brought forth by their father or parents, and presented to the Dark Lord. Voldemort then asked questions and if they did not answer correctly, he preformed the Cruciatus Curse on them. It was horrible to watch. Travers was under the control of the Cruciatus Curse so long, Evan thought he would surely die, but he didn't. This seemed to please the Dark Lord and he let Travers go. Several of the Apprentices failed and Evan was forced to watch as they were killed, and not quickly at that. It was a slow, painful death, and Evan knew that he would hear the screams for the rest of his life.  
  
Soon it was Evan's turn.  
  
"Who presents the Apprentice?" Voldemort demanded.  
  
Evan watched as his father stepped forward, his mask glinting eerily in the torchlight. "I do, my Lord."  
  
"And is he of pure-blood?"  
  
"Yes, my Lord."  
  
"What proof do you present?"  
  
"The proof of his lineage."  
  
"Recite his lineage."  
  
"By birth, Rosier. By the second-generation of Wessington and -"  
  
"Enough." Voldemort shifted his cold gaze from Evan to his father. Although his father stood proud and tall, he shuddered under the Dark Lord's gaze and dropped his head. Voldemort nodded, seemingly pleased and said, "I am satisfied."  
  
"Thank you, my Lord," his father said, kneeling and kissing the hem of Voldemort's robes. His father backed up and stood with the rest of the Inner Circle.  
  
"Evan Rosier, step forward."  
  
Evan swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. This is it. There's no turning back.  
  
"You have attained your eighteenth year and your blood-line has been proved pure. I ask you this as I asked you before. Why do you seek the service of the Dark Lord?"  
  
"Knowledge, power, and purity." His father had drilled this into his brain ever since the beginning of his seventh and final year at Hogwarts. His Apprenticeship initiation had been more relaxed, if he considered getting hit by the Cruciatus Curse and being nearly scared out of his wits relaxing. Now, his answers had to be clear, concise and exactly what the Dark Lord wanted to hear.  
  
"And what is the knowledge that you seek?"  
  
"The knowledge of the Dark Arts."  
  
"What is the power that you seek?"  
  
"Whatever power my Lord believes worthy of giving me," Evan said, bowing his head. Oh God, please let this be over with.  
  
"And what purity do you seek?"  
  
"The purity of the wizarding world."  
  
Voldemort sneered, nodding. His fiery gaze penetrated Evan and he could feel that he was being inspected very thoroughly. He felt like his skin had disappeared and that Voldemort could see straight through him. It was not a pleasant feeling.  
  
Evan swallowed and kept his back straight, keeping his gaze level with the Dark Lord. Don't let your gaze drop. Don't let your gaze drop. He kept repeating this in his mind and it felt like eternity until the Dark Lord nodded.  
  
"Very well. I accept your service." The Dark Lord turned around.  
  
Evan let out the breath he had been unconsciously holding very quietly. Yet he was still tense, for he knew that it could not be over so easily. And he was right.  
  
"Do you know why I prefer that my followers serve me through fear?" Voldemort asked, his back still to Evan.  
  
Evan swallowed, keeping his gaze on Voldemort's back.  
  
"It's because men are motivated by fear and that is the primary tool to use with followers." The Dark Lord turned, his penetrating stare directed at Evan. "Do you fear me, Evan Rosier?"  
  
"Yes." Evan could feel the sweat soaking through his robes and his heart was beating so rapidly he felt as though it would leap out of his chest at any moment. Oh God, please let this be over.  
  
Voldemort nodded. "As you should." At that moment, too swift for Evan to react, Voldemort had whipped out his wand and pointed it straight at Evan. "Crucio!"  
  
This time, it felt ten thousand times worse than any other time he had yet experienced. Needles of pain stabbed him on every inch of his body and what felt like fire laced his nerves, filling his entire body with agony. He bit his lip to keep from screaming in pain. Every bit of his body hurt and he felt like he was being cut up into tiny pieces, bit by bit. It was so horrible! Oh God, please, stop! Please!  
  
Suddenly, it ended as quickly as it had begun. Evan lay on the ground, gasping for air. Breathe. That's the key. Just keep breathing. Evan sucked in a mouthful of the moist air, closing his eyes. His body was still twitching and he couldn't move.  
  
He opened one of his eyelids partially, but even that hurt. He could see the Dark Lord looking down from his stone platform, his red eyes gleaming.  
  
Then, another round of excruciating pain filled his body as Evan suffered yet another Cruciatus Curse. Then it stopped and his body was numb. He could hardly feel the pain. Dimly, he was aware that someone was lifting him to his feet and then blackness overwhelmed him.  
  
§ § §  
  
Sitting on his bed in his dormitory, Evan tried to read his The Study of Ancient Runes book; he had come upstairs since it was rather noisy downstairs. Yet, he could not concentrate, for he realized how aware he was of the Dark Mark that was engraved on his flesh. He wanted to rip it off, but of course, that was impossible. Ice-fire filled his veins and he could feel the tendrils of the Mark stretching throughout his entire body.  
  
Well, Rosier, you survived. Now all you have to do is survive the Mark. No turning back. You've fallen off the edge, and you're never coming back. You chose to follow the path your father set you for you and you are now a Death Eater.  
  
Shut up, Evan willed the voice in his head.  
  
He blinked and tried to concentrate, but his arm was tingling. He lifted the sleeve of his robe, looking at the shining black Mark on his forearm. Nope, no turning back. I'm going to have this mark as long as I live, for however long that may be. I made a choice, and now I have to live with it, no matter what second thoughts I'm thinking. I just completely screwed myself over. Yet, this is who I am. I am a Death Eater and I had no choice.  
  
§ § §  
  
I am a Death Eater.  
  
I had no choice.  
  
I am sorry.  
  
"There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; If it be not to come, it will be now; If it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all."  
  
-Hamlet- 


End file.
